I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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