it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
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She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
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Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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