guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
