You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
