this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
