I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
