I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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