I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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