So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
