how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
