it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
