Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
