is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
