just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
