I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
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