how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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