I will die if light touches me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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