maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
