WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
