I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
