never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My dick has a subreddit
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
