i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
