Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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