I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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