woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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