We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
