I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
