Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
