Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
