She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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