Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
