Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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