Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
