The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
