3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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