i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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