Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
