Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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