i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
