he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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