just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
