We're like a lot better than the average bears
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
