Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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