how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
