Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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