Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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