He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
