I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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