So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
