just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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