That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
