so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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