My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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