I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
