You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I am available for nakedness
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
