So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
