i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
