I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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