She announced her abortion via fbk
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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