I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
