Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
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about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
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when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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