Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
