Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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