i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
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He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
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I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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